Chris Victors was a student of mine fairly early in my teaching career.  I knew him through a few different people, and so we ended up connecting and starting up lessons. 

To this day I still think he was one of the upbeat, enthusiastic,  and serious students I’ve had. He actually did is work, and he did more than he was assigned.  He was playing all the time, and learning at an incredibly fast rate. And when I think back on him both as a student and as a friend,  I can say this,.. He is one of the nicest people I have ever known.

Back in the days when I was teaching at Rising Star Music in Spotswood I had a student named Breen. You could tell her apart from any person in town when she was out driving in her mom’s car, which was painted Red, White, and Blue. That was my first impression of her, this kind of zany car. It reflected her personality as I would see in the years to come.

I worked with Breen first at the studio and then when I left that job to begin teaching privately Breen was one of the students that continued on with me for private lessons.

There are certainly some details about this story that I won’t be able to recall, but I will work with what I do remember.

Years ago I got a call from this lovely bubbly and energetic woman about lessons for her son Benny. At that time he was a teenager, but by now he’s most definitely in his mid or late twenties. Their family lived in Metuchen, New Jersey.

I had been teaching to some degree since I was about 15 years old. I found that other kids in the neighborhood were willing to pay me to teach them some guitar, and I even got a few students locally via referrals. Up until then I was mostly super locally teaching.

That would change when I was referred to The Batten Family by my friend Susie. She was in the same dance program with the Batten’s daughter, and as it turned out, their son, Charlie, was interested in learning guitar.

“Music has the power to transport us to different places, times, and even far away worlds. It has the ability to tap into our deepest feelings, and to instigate entire emotional and mental states. It all depends on what the composer is trying to achieve. This is at the core of scoring for soundtracks. It is also effective without the aid of a visual component.”

I remember the first time I met Dylan Manfre. He had to have been like 9 years old or so, maybe 10, and he was this wide eyed kid with this huge blonde poof of hair. He was a little hesitant at first learning guitar, but he settled into it more and more each week. And then years went by, and even more years after that. I worked with Dylan right up until he left for college. I taught him everything from chords, soloing, to songwriting, singing; there really wasn’t a musical stone left unturned in our work together.

Over my many, many years of teaching I have encountered students of all ages, experience, musical preference, and education, and if there’s one thing that always (while also never) surprises me, is how many people beyond the beginner stage do not know or lean heavily on the importance of the musical alphabet. 

Something so rudimentary, and so crucial, and somehow many teachers overlook the need to stress the value of this simple piece of info.

I have never figured out if I dreamt having this one particular woman student, or if I saw her once and then somehow forgot to ever get back to her.  It has perplexed me for a long time.  

When I was first getting into teaching, I was coming out of working at a studio.  The owner was not so good at his finances, and was constantly bouncing checks, or not paying me for extended periods of time.  I was frustrated, and eventually I started transitioning out of working at that studio, and a lot of my students ended up exiting with me, as I was their preferred teacher.  That is when I really started doing housecall lessons, something which is still a main income stream for me to this day.

All Work And No Play Makes For A Dull Experience

Being in a band is fun,  but it’s also work. A lot of work.  So much work that it can turn into a job.. (shudders).  There’s nothing wrong with that though. As long as you love what you do you’ll never work a day in your life,  as the saying goes, however with work there needs to be play. Balance is crucial because play inspires work very often,  and they feed into each other.

“Come Out And Play…”

Encouraging play time with collaborators is a great way to detach from the brain,  and also a wonderful way to grow together. Seeing each other in an environment where you are engaged in activities that have nothing to do with work,  or even if it does, but in a more passive way, helps you not only get to know each other more, but it is a terrific stimulant for new and inspired creativity.  With my collaborators, I like to go to concerts, do nature excursions, see movies, and even go to events and gatherings where we aren’t going to be so inclined to promote or network.  It’s good to be removed from the grind of spreading the gospel of your project endeavors.

Early on in my teaching career, I was contacted by a woman named Teresa about lessons for her son Johnny, and so we started working together.  Jonny was a bit of a hellraiser, but a good kid nonetheless, and I always enjoyed teaching him. We would play all kinds of rock and metal songs,  and he got pretty good pretty fast. I had enough years on him to be a bit of a big brother type that he never took overly serious like an adult, but more as someone he could be himself without me getting all grown-up-ish when he acted like a jackass.  He was definitely a rambunctious kid, and no stranger to rebellious hijinks. He was always a bit of a wise guy , but again, really a good kid at the end of it all.  

Teresa eventually ended up as my hair stylist,  and we became friends. She was a nice woman and a solid mother.  She supported Jonny’s interests and provided all the care that he needed,  and she would often.

I don’t exactly remember how I originally met Maddi Demko,  but she stands as one of the students I really miss working with.  She took to guitar, singing, and songwriting SO fast, and so passionately, it was inspiring.  

She was an early teen when I started working with her,  and she excelled through a lot of the core curriculum with a sense of ease,  and she would learn and write songs without me having to nag her. She just knew to :do it”,  as far as developing her skills on her own between lessons. The voice she developed for herself is one that I can still hear when I think about it,  she had a tone, and inflection that was (is) very distinctive. Her knowledge of music theory was also solid, which was delightful, because that is often an area of resistance with many students.

Ashrith was a student who I worked with for quite a few years.  He started right around the same time as a few of my other students, namely Advait, who was featured in another Family Support Blog.  Ashrith, Advait, and a few others all lived in the same neighborhood, so they were fairly interactive with each other as students.

Ashrith started guitar with me, and then we evolved into piano, vocals, and songwriting.  He is one of the only other students that wrote original music at such a young age.  

Sometimes natural talent just screams from the rooftops, and when it does, heed the call.  His parents did a spectacular job raising him and his brother. They are cultured, talented, and kind people.  Support skill with steadfast attention and great things will happen. Advait worked so hard to earn his accomplishments and his family took an interactive role which provided him the resources he needed to thrive.  

Sometimes in life, you meet people under circumstances based on business, but life can turn all that around by putting all parties into situations where it becomes a matter of keeping one’s sanity as a team effort.  A karmic connection, where without each other being part of the mix, neither would have come out as unscathed. Friendship can endure over the years, even with sizable brakes occasionally as a factor. The biggest lesson learned: Generosity, Kindness, and openness are all transferable qualities.  It’s the essence of the idea “Be the change you want to see in the world,” and I think that a large part of my demeanor and the quality of my character was forged in my relationship with my friend, Pete.  

Years ago, I met a family while lingering around Guitar Center.  I overheard them talking about buying a guitar setup for their daughter, and so I offered my card and we had a conversation.  I started lessons with them shortly after meeting them and I worked with the daughter, Christine, for several years.  

I learned early on that her mother had cancer, and that she was battling for her life, so her mom’s health was often a topic that I would check in on week to week as we worked.  I would do my best to help distract her from the difficulty of the situation, while also flowing with the emotional shifts that were coming with the coping process. She was a very good student, and took to the guitar and singing with an open mind and great ease.

Sadly, sometime after we started lessons, her mom passed away.  It was a heavy time in their house, and I did all I could to help Christine and her father feel supported by my presence.

Have you ever found yourself in a collaboration or team effort spin-out? Have you ever walked away from a meeting with others and said, “What the hell just happened?” or “I don't like the way this turned out?” If you have, then likely you have either NO agreements in place, the agreements are not defined well enough, or the agreements were not honored. This is not good...but it is fixable and it is manageable, provided that all of the terms are stated, agreed upon, and written down. It’s really that easy. The hard part is nailing down everyone’s true needs, desires, and expectations. In this blog we will explore this topic.

I first met the Vawters while leading a drum circle for the Freehold Special Scouts troop 454, where they earned the music merit badge. 

The gig had resulted from a referral I had received from a woman I met at a different special needs drumming event that her child attends.  So it was a nice little connection.

I met the father, Jamie Vawter and we talked about having me at his home to do private lessons and drumming for his family, which included his elderly mother, a delightful woman I might add, and his son Zach, who is 20 years old with low-verbal Autism.

Sometimes, collaboration includes the element of travel excursions. For bands this could mean going on tour, for artists this could be traveling with an agent to a gallery opening across the country, for architects this could mean going to Europe to restore a historic structure, and so on. No matter who you travel with, it's important to travel well. This blog will explore travel dynamics and offer some tips gained from experiences I've had on the road.

When it comes to building trusting and loving interactions with clients over the years, there is an openness that develops, a sense of safety that one can be themselves free of judgement or condemnation. I enjoyed this level of comfort with Becca, and one day when she came into her class she went quiet and kinda smirked as she said “Can I tell you something?”.. to which I of course said, “Sure, whats up?”, and that’s when she revealed her truth to me.

Just as it was with advent of the video age, modern day artists rely heavily on video and image content to “show” more than “tell”. That’s the beauty of video; it’s dynamic and more exciting than a photo or text. Artists have been using video to showcase themselves for many decades now. The Beatles did it 1964 on Ed Sullivan before MTV, Score Composers alongside animators did it before as early as 1937 with “Snow White”, and really, all major artists have done it before, during and after these times. You tube changed the game, and then came other standards like Vimeo, Instagram, Facebook, and dozens of other platforms, all of which feature video platforms and Live Stream features. Given all of these technological media advancements, it’s crucial for Artists to get in line with the times and utilize video as a way to promote themselves.

One of the families I worked with very early on were the McDaniels.  I taught DJ, the eldest son. 

I first met him, and the family when I worked at Rising Star Music in Spotswood, New Jersey when I was a relatively new music teacher.  I was probably about twenty years old, and so I was still able to age-relate easily to younger teens, since I wasn’t that far ahead of them life-wise.   DJ was one of my guitar students, and when I eventually left the studio, he wanted to continue on with me privately, and so we worked together for several years to come.  I might have been teaching him until he graduated high school, but I don’t remember that part exactly. Even after we stopped doing lessons, I would often see him and hang out, often at the gym, or at the mall. 

Inspiration is a slippery thing.  It comes and it goes. It strikes us in moments when we aren’t prepared, and it isn’t always something that makes itself known when it appears. It’s no surprise that the perfect lyric comes to us when we don't have a pen and paper handy, or a melody that creeps into our head when there is nothing to do but sing it a million times to try to remember it.  So the best thing a creative person can do is to be prepared at all times. It seems like a big task to always have a go-bag ready to capture such gems in the moment they decide to appear. It IS a big task, and the difference between a person that seizes the moment and one who doesn’t is in fact that go-bag of preparedness. I ALWAYS have a pen and paper no matter where I go.  I literally travel with these crucial tools everywhere. If you see me, I’m likely to have a backpack with me. My go-bag, if you will. That is what sets me apart from others that lose the precious diamonds of creativity. I am always ready to receive and capture. Are you?

Let’s talk about some ways to always be prepared.

Sometimes, collaboration includes the element of travel excursions. For bands this could mean going on tour, for artists this could be traveling with an agent to a gallery opening across the country, for architects this could mean going to Europe to restore a historic structure, and so on. No matter who you travel with, it's important to travel well. This blog will explore travel dynamics and offer some tips gained from experiences I've had on the road.

I have been providing wellness services to various facilities for the last four years or so (since 2015), and I am always reminded of one of my first experiences at Trenton Psychiatric Hospital in New Jersey.  For confidentiality reasons, I can’t share names or any patient details that could reveal their identity, but I can share some experiential stories.

The Shakes

I was at my session for the day, providing various music and alternative wellness services, and towards the end of the work day I had one last person approach me to ask if I could help with any of my tools.  As he approached me, I could see him visibly shaking with tremors, as a result of all the meds he was on.

Just as it was with advent of the video age, modern day artists rely heavily on video and image content to “show” more than “tell.”  That’s the beauty of video; it’s dynamic, and more exciting than a photo, or text. Artists have been using video to showcase themselves for many decades now.  The Beatles did it 1964 on Ed Sullivan before MTV, score composers alongside animators did it before as early as 1937 with “Snow White”, and really, all major artists have done it before, during and after these times.   YouTube changed the game, and then came other standards like Vimeo, Instagram, Facebook, and dozens of other platforms, all of which feature video platforms and live stream features. Given all of these technological media advancements, it’s crucial for Artists to get in line with the times and utilize video as a way to promote themselves.

Here are some tips on how to get started, and how to ensure that your project runs smoothly:

Over the years, I have been very close with the Melameds, a family I started working with in 2009 or so.  I was Mike and Ethan’s first music teacher, and during our time working together I taught the boys guitar, bass, drums, piano, songwriting, theory, and about being a working musician.  I had the guys take part in the various music talent showcases I hosted with my band Amber Blues, and they became friendly with other students, notably Matt and Paul Rose from Blog #1. In fact they are still friendly now, almost a decade later!!

The boys parents’ Ron and Cheryl were and are still so incredibly supportive of their ambitions, and pulled out all the stops to see that they were able to learn and develop with all the resources they could possibly need.  

There is almost too much that can be said about how supportive this family is not only of their kids, but also of me, my endeavors, and others in the tribe.  They come to the shows, buy the merch, offer opportunities for prosperity, and are some of the most accommodating folks you’ll ever meet.