Becca/Kelton: Family Support Story #7


For a time I worked at a music studio, long before I was teaching privately full time, and so I had a pretty regular and large student roster.  I couldn’t likely tell you the names of the kids that came and went over the years, but there are a handful that came with me when I left the studio and they continued studying with me, and eventually they grew up and became more of my friends then clients, as it often happens when kids grow into adults.

One of the students that I had a long term working relationship with was (then named) Becca McGuiness, a singer, songwriter, and performer.  

She was often active with the student showcases that I was hosting, and she carried her skills into adulthood and as far as I know, she is still an active musician.

When it comes to building trusting and loving interactions with clients over the years, there is an openness that develops, a sense of safety that one can be themselves free of judgement or condemnation.  I enjoyed this level of comfort with Becca, and one day when she came into her class she went quiet and kinda smirked as she said “Can I tell you something?”.. to which I of course said, “Sure, whats up?”, and that’s when she revealed her truth to me.  She said “I think I’m gay”, and then she was all smiles as she heard herself say it. It was such an honor to be the first person that she shared that with and sought safe feedback from. I mean, that’s some trust right there, and it made me happy to be the keeper of such a reveal.  I never uttered a word to her parents or friends, or anyone, and as she came into her being and new reality I recall her seeking advice about how she was handling the secrets she was keeping from everyone else in her world. And for a few years, until she shared this information with the people in her life, I kept it to myself and her.  

Her family did eventually get clued in, at which point is was more of an open topic around the house. 

An inspirational update as of 2019:  

Becca, who is now going by Kelton, is identifying as a male (he/his) and is preparing for transitional surgery.  At the time I wrote this, we hadn’t touched base in a while, and so this new development was brought to my attention, and I was wow’d!! It was great to catch up and see what He has been doing in life, and it made me happy to see them happy.  You never do stop hoping for the best with people you helped or guided in their formative years.  

The Take Away From This Story:

This story always sticks out in my mind as a reminder that what I offer my clients IS important, and it does very much become about sharing and growing as people while working together, and that the bond of trust is sacred.  I was entrusted with a secret, and so I was given very important access to a delicate and private matter. I am happy that my clients know that they can rely on me to hold space for such radical changes in their personal journeys, and more importantly, help them transmute these experiences into music and lyrics.  I recall several songs that we worked on that held hidden coding as to the nature of her (now His) changes, some things that unless someone were to know, wouldn’t be so obvious. So there is a creative synergy that feeds into the trust that develops with a teacher and student, especially ones that become friends. 

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