“Au...what..?” : How I Came To Work With Autism (Rick’s Story) : Wellness Story #6

An Unexpected Journey..

It’s been just about 5 years that I’ve been working with various special needs communities. I didn’t set out to do this intentionally, it kind of just happened one day, and the fulfillment that it brought me was almost staggering. There were some experiences earlier in my career that would hint at things to come, but those experiences didn’t initially fully blossom, instead they took root, and slowly developed, and as I would realize later, they would set the stage in many ways for my future endeavors.

The Story Of Rick

One day I was walking through New Brunswick, New Jersey doing promotion for my band Amber Blues. While cutting across a Rutgers Campus field I stumbled upon a man sitting on the steps of a building playing a guitar. Naturally, I approached him to offer him a flier and a sticker, and so we started talking and it didn’t take long for me to realize that there was something different about this person. His name was Rick. He spoke with focused intensity, while also seeming to be unable to absorb a lot of what I was saying to him. He understood me, but he also didn’t understand me.. It was somewhat perplexing. He was able to play his guitar, and quite well, enough to where I was sure that I could speak with a bit of complexity about style, technique, theory, etc., and as I was to quickly figure out, that was not the case. He could improvise, but he didn’t know what or how he was doing it. Anyway, we hung out for a little while before I continued on my way. I gave him my card and extended an offer for him to study music with me if he desired. It wasn’t long before I got a call about working with him..

The First Time I Became Aware Of Autism

I can’t recall if he called me personally, or if it was his mother, or if his case worker / support aid, but I got a call and it was in that call that I learned that Rick had Autism. My first response was “Au.. tis… what?”.. I had NO idea what this was, what it meant , or anything. This was likely the first time I had ever heard the word, though in retrospect, I had known people like him my entire life, I just didn’t know it. I was aware of Down Syndrome, as that condition has been more publicized over the years, and I knew that there were “learning disabilities”, but I had never known that there were various forms of these disabilities. Being up for just about any teaching challenge presented to me, I took on Rick as a student.

It Didn’t take Long..

Once I started working with Rick it didn’t take long before I would begin to get a crash course on Autism, and the particulars of what the condition presented. At first I thought it was just going to be a little bit sluggish intake informationally, and maybe there would be a need for some slowed teaching with extra focus on repetition, and stuff of that sort… well… what I wasn’t expecting was the quirks. Rick would eat raw ginger root compulsively ALL the time, he would blank out completely when I would use certain words or phrases, as in he would stare at me in utter confusion as I tried to fumble my way through explanations, and he would call.. My oh my, would he call. All times of day and night, and sometimes forward of 20 times a day. I admit that some of this was a little off putting to me at first, but I tried to do my best to accommodate his needs. He would call and ask me really abstract questions about music, sometimes not even related to anything that we had studied or discussed, and sometimes he would call to share some really strange tidbit about his day. This kind of student was very alien to me. He was a really nice guy, and he wanted to learn, but some things he did (at the time) made no sense to me. Now years and years later, I get it.

What it Takes To Do This Work And The Lessons Learned

My work with Rick taught me a new, and broader sense of what it means to be patient, kind, compassionate, and creative. These practices that I developed while working with Rick would go on to benefit me in immeasurable ways as a teacher. It taught me to be clear and concise, and to check-in with comprehension and information absorption, it taught me how to listen with an open ear, despite the level of distraction, or even fantasy-babble, and most importantly, it taught me to EMBRACE my students AS THEY ARE. If there is a desire to learn, and I am sought out to meet that need, then it is my obligation to do whatever I can to shuttle that desire to the ability. Prior to working with Rick, I had only ever really worked with (and I use this word to describe my *then* viewpoint), Normal students. Kids and adults that had what one would *expect* to be a relatively average learning experience. Rick taught me to lose all expectations as a teacher. To take the student as they arrive, as their true and authentic selves, and to make it work with a wide open mind as a teacher. I learned to never assume that someone *could* or *should* be able to follow my examples and information. The experience I gained from working with Rick was so much beyond valuable, it didn’t just serve me as a teacher, but it helped me evolve as a human. It taught me so much about listening, watching, and using creativity in my interactions.

Groovin’ For Good Will: A Charity Concert Event

After a while working with Rick, I approached my band about throwing an awareness fundraiser. We agreed to hold an event at New Jersey’s famous venue “The Stone Pony”, in Asbury Park. We sold tickets and merchandise, and forwarded the proceeds to Rick and his family to use towards Ricks needs. I also donated a number of hours to Rick leading up to the event. Our goal was to raise awareness of Autism, and of the journeys of people like Rick, who live with various challenges day to day. Rick’s mother was in attendance also, and she spoke to the audience about autism awareness. This was one of the first times I, or the band had really done larger scale fundraising for a cause. We involved many other bands that we were in collaborations with, and in the end, we really packed the event with supporters. It was a heartwarming event, and one that sticks in my mind even now nearly 10+ years later.

Reflections And Current Community Work

I am forever grateful for meeting Rick and working with him. Though he and I haven’t explored music together in quite a many years, I have never forgotten him. He pops in my head nearly daily. The lessons I learned as a result of that experience would subtly influence my other mundane and business interactions for years, but the actual core of my Autism work experience would lay dormant until about 2015. I met a woman who was interested in the public drum circles and sound therapy sessions I was cultivating and she made me a most intriguing offer; to come work at a children with special needs day camp in my hometown, East Brunswick, New Jersey. Camp Daisy. It was here that I was really re-exposed to the special needs community, where every participant has their own challenges from Down Syndrome, to mobile disability (wheel chairs), to Autism and Aspbergers, and beyond. Imagine my thoughts when presented this offer; I had had experience working with 1 student, one on one, and here was a chance to work with forward of 4o children at a time… all with their own needs and circumstances… It was a little bit of a daunting idea at first, but I am one to dive head first into a challenge and so I accepted, and ever since then, I have been working extensively with such communities. My work has brought me all over the state of New Jersey, but also to various regions of Pennsylvania, New York, Delaware, and many other locations on the east coast. I now host annual drum circle events for several regional special care facilities and day camps (shout out to Camp ROBIN, Camp Daisy, Salisbury Behavioral Health, and CSPNJ), as well as bi-weekly and monthly group sessions. And i must say.. I LOVE IT. I have discovered and honed my niche as a facilitator for these groups and events and really, most of my skill came from working with Rick all those years ago. It was then that I really understood the power of patience, listening, and creative teaching approaches. I still employ all of those lessons at every event, and since I do them frequently, and that Rick was the original source, I suppose that that is why he comes to my mind often. His influence is ever present in my work.

Thank you for taking the time to read this rather lengthy installment of my Wellness Blog Series; this is an important social topic, but also one of great importance to me personally.

Till next time,

Be Well