Thriving Amidst Radical Change

Ch-ch-ch-changes, Turn And Face The Strange

Life is chaotic, and it is harmonious. It is all things. Despite the flavor of life, it is unpredictable, and it cannot really be controlled. It doesn't matter what the intention is, the universe, earth, circumstance all have their own roles to play. It can come in any way, at any time, and ALL we as a people, as humans can do is roll with the punches and accept the changes and shifts as they reveal themselves to us. It could be an outdoor wedding blessed by sun and warmth, OR it can be rainy, wet mess. The bridesmaid can trip on the Bride's dress and tear a huge hole in it, or the Bridesmaid can see someone about to do the same and save the day. Infinite outcomes exist. Awareness helps with maneuvering these unpredictable moments, but more importantly it about HOW these challenges are met.

Fall With Grace

If it is to be that you are going to fall, then take the hit, and do it in a way that is healthy. Don't allow the fact that you fell be the focal point, let it be the fact that you got back up and tried again. It's like that old saying, “If you fall off the horse, you gotta get back on”. It's true. Missteps in life, planned or expected or not, the point is this – shit happens. But when it happens, how will you react. Will you make it worse, or will you dust yourself off and give it another go. That is the essence of dealing with radical change. Surrendering to the process and doing so with grace, stoicism, and dignity to the best of your ability. Don't sit and bitch about it. Don't let it be the end-all-be-all. Moving within radical change takes radical surrender. And that is fucking HARD. But.. it IS the way. To do the opposite is to give yourself over to anger, hate, and all of the other negative feelings that can take root when allowed to. That's not to say don't experience your feelings. When you fall it hurts. But do you sit and gripe about a scraped knee, or bandage it up and get walking again. Perhaps you will gain a sense of value from the experience, and the next time you will remember why you fell in the first place. Perhaps you were walking the road of your life with the proverbial “cell phone” in your hand, eyes glued to it's glowing screen.. and you as a result, never saw the pot hole you were about to fall into. So next time, keep your eyes up. It's a lesson learned. Are you paying attention?.. Will you keep paying attention?...

What Can You Really Do About It?...

It is EASY to get pulled into the negative vortex of radical change. For some reason, negative emotions are often far louder than the positive ones. It’s as if the happy times go by fast, and before you know it it’s been years; but then there’s the bad times, and they seem to last FOREVER. Sleepless nights are an interesting thing to ponder -what is it that would keep you up all night till sunrise.. Are you restless and worrisome, rolling over things in your head over and over searching desperately for some peace, pacing, chain smoking?.. Or are you running in the forest with a lover, sharing experiences and laughter, talking about your lives and exploring each other?.. Those nights seem to be over in a flash, don’t they…? So the question in terms of thriving amidst radical change is this, “What can you really do about it?”.. Are you able to stop, prevent or somehow hold back this change? What if it’s an earthquake?.. That’s a radical change for sure. And there ain’t no human that is going to STOP it.. It is going to happen,.. The human can run away from it to safety. Or stay and potentially die or be injured. So in that situation your options would be pretty clear. Let's make a less extreme example; Your Dad gets diagnosed with terminal cancer.. This is something that I personally experienced with my own father. In that scenario, I’ll share what my father actually did regarding how he existed with this radical change. He embraced it. He would kind of joke about it, in lighthearted ways, but I never really heard the man straight up outwardly rant, bitch, get angry, or revert to a “why me” mindset. He would reminisce a lot. He would relish his memories, and during the five year survival window he was given, he did a lot of talking. More than he ever that I can remember. We actually “talked”.. Like the real father and son type moments. That wasn’t our way most of my late teen to adult life, and that is certainly not uncommon as children and parents begin to transition to their respective next stages. But we dropped the past, and we got real with each other. For the most part from the day he was diagnosed till the day he died, we really didn’t butt heads or fight anymore. It just wasn’t worth it. Time was too limited, and fast forward to today.. He has been passed nearly 5 years, and I still miss him everyday. But.. like the header of this section asked, What can you really do about it?... Nothing. I can’t do anything to change the fact that he has passed. I can do a million other things to honor his memory and feel connected. And I do. That is what i can do about that radical change. We knew he was dying the whole time, and with each surgery, with each chemo round, with each pound of weight he lost as he starved to death along with the cancer that was ravaging his systems,.. With each of those things, we did what we could. We celebrated life, got to know each other, and made the most of our time.

Positive Mind / Negative Mind

You have two ends of the spectrum here. Far left and the far right. Most people right the line between the spectrums, occasionally hitting the wall on either side. And that is totally normal. I can say that I experience this. And I’m sure you, the reader, have also. Remember any moments where you were at your highest high?.. And how about that lowest low?... Most of the time we ride the middle. With awareness and practice you can learn to direct your energy. With some thought, I am inclined to say that I really don’t see much use for the negative mind, as it is often shitty. The negative mind is the self deprecator, the one who tells you that you are inept, ugly, fat, skinny, - judging, and labeling. I think it’s useful to have these thoughts.. Because for balance to exist, we must sometimes question ourselves, and we must judge ourselves as part of the experience.. BUT i don’t think that it’s healthy to stay there for too long. What too long translates to will likely differ from person to person. A few days,.. Ok, not the end of the world. But 5 years,..?.. For me, 5 years would be a lot of time wasted in a stressed out state. A lot of real damage can be done in a single moment of trauma, let alone several years worth.

A Positive mind is the one that talks yourself up in a healthy way, the one that knows and offers self love, the one that says “Yes I Can!!”, and “We are worthy of love!!”. But like with all things, too much Positive Mind can potentially create an unhealthy imbalance of over-optimism, which can be blinding and debilitating. Too much of anything can be a bad thing. Doesn’t matter if it’s fruit or fried chicken, - too much throws things out of balance. Too much forced positivity can cripple a person's ability to cope when a real crisis emerges, or when radical change rears its ugly head.

All people, all things.. exist in balance. Sooner or later, the scale will sway the other way.

So when facing radical change, keep some focus on where your mind is wandering, and more importantly, where it’s residing. Maintaining extremes is very draining, and it exhausts resources and energy.

It’s ok to be negative. It’s okay to be positive. It’s wise to work with both.

We need the contrast to be able to tell the difference between the two.

Nothing Lasts Forever,...

Impermanence is the nature of all things. Living beings are born, they live, and eventually die, and when they die, their bodies decompose and integrate with the soil; then eventually new life such as plants and grow from the soil, and then those plants live their duration, and die, and so on the cycle goes. Feelings change and fade, rocks can be worn down to nothing over enough time, and even the rain eventually stops. It is this sacred dance that keeps things going in our universe. So if nothing is permanent, then what is there to fear? All things eventually change. It’s just a matter of time and pressure. But at some point all things give in to transformation. So when we are faced with radical change, remember that this is how it works across the board. A human may experience rough times, discomfort, or pain within transitions, but that is no different then pain a stem may feel as it bursts from a seed and pushes through the soil. It’s all about the struggle, that is kind of the point of life. Without challenge there is no life as far as I’m concerned.

So much of the impression that an experience leaves will be determined by the amount of work or effort it took to see it through.

There is nothing terribly interesting about the “payoff” when it’s standalone; it’s the journey that gives the payoff it’s power. Knowing that obstacles were overcome, and adversity was surmounted - it’s THAT stuff that empowers the ending of a story. Without conflict there is no thrill. Facing life’s battles with a balanced attitude is the best strategy. As I wrote earlier; feel your feelings, but dwelling in one vibe for too long disturbs the balance. It tips the scales and throws off the equilibrium.